ah here we go
there's nothing interesting going on really. i'm trying to be aware of myself and what i'm doing and where i am lately, i've found that it's helpful ^^

i have projects to take care of, although i might not be able to finish them all in the deadline i was given feh
umm i'm trying to be interesting O_O there is really nothing i could think of though. for whoever is interested read this book: how to think like leonardo da vinci by michael gelb, it's interesting.

check out this journal it's the visual poetry of 2008 to remember [link] and eh eh i'm in it = D *shakes ass* >>> AND here also = D : [link]

i haven't been uploading any deviations, well as you can tell. i've been working with my brother but eno the only photographs i'm taking are of buildings and that doesn't interest me much so i'm not uploading them. i am going to try however to find that excitement i had. *digging up to find it*

my luved ones 'a luv u ^.^
au revoir



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groups and communities i'm in:

alright so this sleeping thing is not working out for me *scratches head* im starting to act quite strange, not concentrating, saying incomplete sentences that make perfect sense in my mind, tired all the time, hyper at the wrong time ha!
this is honestly starting to get ridiculous

am always looking for a change but lately it seems im going back to some old habits of mine, doing things without thinking about them then regret them later and keep kicking myself in the ass for it.
i need to concentrate that's what i need to do
i need something to shake me up to wake me up
maybe something to hit me over the head
or perhaps doing something extremely major

do u know the kind of people who bring out the worst in you? i hate those people. makes u want to shove a pencil in their ear. i met one of those people lately, and that person brings the absolutely worse in me! i come off snobbish and condescending and silly and even stupid.
for some reason though, i keep letting myself be around that person
strange isnt it
perhaps a phase?


ma luved ones am here ^*
tata *wave

here i am
i am me

i came to realize lately that the more i think, the more i have nothing to say about myself. so i just let it go. say nothing, pretend that i have so much to say. pretend that because i'm 'satisfied with who i am and don't care what everyone thinks' i chose to say nothing.
pity. i pity, u pity, we pity.
i think im more comfortable talking about someone else. maybe put myself in their spot. no confusion there. meshe l hal there.

ive been meeting up with some old friends which is stinking brilliant now i quit my job. it has been a month now. the whore ex-boss of mine sent someone to ask me back but i gave her a bigass no.

i wasnt able to sleep much before, i blamed my job and uni. now im sleeping but not comfortably. i wake up shaking up and nervous and cant go back to sleep or have fights with someone (but cant remember who) and start yelling in my sleep (so they tell me). waking up after all that isnt nice i tell u.

that is one shitload of talking i just did

ma luved ones u know who u are. im here whenever.
tata


groupes:

it has been so long
i am so tired
i want to sleep for three days straight
i need to not do anything for days at a time
i miss my sarah

i have this huge faery collection, from stories to poems to prayers to photos to drawings to paintings and yadi yada and it has been so long since i even thought of them
and today i looked at them each one at a time = D maybe ill have one tattooed? i wanted to do that years ago but always something came up mmm

i want to read, i want to go back to reading alot. i miss that
mmm i also miss going out early in the morning. yes somewhere far. spend the day
i miss alot of things i used to do
gharib

i cut my hair. well that was random now wasn't it

luv ya my loved ones ^^

I find it strange how, even though i don't have time to pay attention to many with everything going on and uni and work, i still hear stories about me saying this and that about him and her! and i wonder: i never said that! when did i say that? why would i say that? i didn't even talk to that person so that he'd say i said that!
pfff amazing really amazing. maybe its hate? maybe this way they'd feel better about themselves by making me come off a whore? or maybe its all about attention *scratches head* i don't think they even know.

why is it so difficult to believe that i am simply neutral? with some people it's either u care positively or negatively. there's no i dont care.

i want to be mad, i honestly do, but i cant afford to be.


i'm trying to focus more on me. in my free time i try and attend some health classes, read some self bla books, go out with a close friend. thats why i'm not submitting any deviations, because i haven't been taking any photos.

things have completely changed. back when i was in school, everything that came after 2pm was my 'let go' time and i would spend it with everybody doing everything.
However now my social life is dying

poooo
ekh

ma loved ones i'm here and yati yata u know the drill
merci et a demain